I Saw a UFO

Yes I’m sure it was a UFO and no, I was not high.

As long as we’re being honest you should know that a joint or two may have turned to ash at some time in the course of said day but I am rather  familiar with hallucinations so I’m going to have to ask that you please trust me to know the difference. It would take at least a full ounce to make me hallucinate so vividly.

Shit, after an ounce I wouldn’t be able to lift my pinky finger let alone go out for a late night stroll, which is what I was doing when I saw the Unidentified Flying Object.

T’was a clear, starry night and I was out and about on the hunt for food and tobacco. Having ordered my food I walked over to the only shop in town that sells ‘loose ones’ to burn some time and ‘baccy while my dinner was prepared by those culinary geniuses down at Grill n’ Chill.

My eyes were up and I was looking for Orion’s Belt when I noticed a blinking orange light over one of the larger residential buildings. At first I dismissed it as a plane but then I realised it was too low to be a plane. It was practically on top of the building.

“Probably an antenna,” I told myself, trying to reason it out. But my rationale mind lost  out when the light went off and in its place was this awkward craft, delicately hanging in the air.

It looked like the classic UFO from the movies, round like a disc and about the size of a small car with the glow from the streetlights reflecting off its underside. I took a pause to lean against a light pole and watched as it floated casually over the rooftops until I couldn’t see it anymore.

So I saw a UFO. Does this mean I’ve proven the existence of aliens? Maybe. It’s just as likely that there were regular Earth-borne people inside, testing out their new toy. I don’t doubt that somebody somewhere on Earth has the technology to do it and have had it for decades. It’s 20-effing-14. It’s highly unlikely that the iPhone is the best thing technology has to offer us right now.

I soon found out that the most infuriating part of seeing a UFO is knowing that nobody is going to believe you. Societal pressure has us believing that UFOs are bullshit. “There’s no proof of the existence of UFOs” has got to be the biggest joke of the past century. Every year there are thousands of reported UFO sightings with photo evidence to boot. Yes some of them are probably faked, but all of them? A major airport in China was shut down last year due to a large unidentified aircraft found chilling in their airspace. Fake that.

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Most take my words with a pinch of salt and some people believed me but that’s only those who’ve already had their egos cracked i.e. they’ve seen some crazy shit too. One day a friend and I were discussing a theory that aliens may have aided humanity’s technological advancements and it gets me talking about my UFO sighting. He didn’t think I was crazy. His ego was cracked a long time ago when he saw something purely inexplicable himself. Having an open mind is commendable but it can’t compare with a proper ‘WTF’ moment.

Look to the stars people, some of them are just pretending.

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