Do you know what rabbits eat?
That’s right, it’s that green, leafy nutritious shit that comes out of the ground. And maybe a couple of carrots if Doc is around. Damn, it sucks to be the rabbit. Imagining never knowing the sweetness of a well cooked steak or juicy chicken leg. Thank God we’re human and don’t have to suffer the same dietary restrictions. We can eat whatever we like. Top of the food chain!
Please believe, this world is crazy. It turns out there are people out there who have chosen to live the way of the rabbit. Okay so some religions don’t allow the consumption of flesh (and religious people are crazy anyway) but there’s also people who’ve decided to shun meat completely for ‘personal reasons’. Ludicrous! They’re reasons? They say meat is murder. They say vegetables are healthy. But we know they’re hypocrites. We know they’re all pretenders. We see them eye-balling the T-bone steak on our plates while they pick round the quinoa on theirs. There’s all kinds of meat-free substitutes designed to taste and feel like meat but you’ll never see a sausage dressed up as lettuce.
This is where mindfullness comes into play. How often do people actually pause to think about exactly what is that they are eating? Here we have the mother of all rabbbit holes. Meat eaters can’t stand to think about slaughterhouse practices and even the strictest vegan feels guilty when thinking about food miles. Once you start thinking about how what you just ate actually came to be there, you can be forgiven for wanting to learn how to photosynthisize.
The moral dilemma of eating meat can be debated but the health issues can’t. Cheese burgers kill millions every year but there isn’t a doctor alive who’d advised his patient to eat fewer vegetables. Every form of nutrient that the human body needs for growth, repair and maintenance can be found in sufficient quantities in one plant or another. Let’s be honest peeps, we don’t need meat. It just tastes good. But that kind of thinking explains how rat-poison came to be the best-selling artificial sweetener on the planet. “Would you like some neuro-toxin for your tea?”
Don’t know if this happens to anyone else but nothing quenches my thirst quite like water. In fact soda and packaged fruit juice sometime leave me even thirstier. My mum would always buy us that packaged fruit juice because my brother and I were so addicted, we literaly begged for it. I remember I’d get cravings for the sugary goodness and I’d go all they way to the kitchen just to get a shot of fruit juice, which I’d literally started to take like shots of alcohol. So addicted were we that my brother would only drink water under duress.
I gotta tell you, the way of the rabbit is the way forward. In the years since I quit the sins of the flesh, I’ve seen a marked increase in my extra-sensory powers. That’s right, I can read your mind. But the full potential of my superpowers remains unrealised as I am too weak to give up on eggs. I maintain that meat is murder however I’m quite okay with abortion. Go figure.
Oh, and the shits I’ve been taking….even the trains at King’s Cross don’t run this smoothly.