Journeyman Reads: Down the Rabbit Hole, by Holly Madison

Publishe by Harper Collins

Published by Harper Collins

Hell yeah! A tell-all book from the Playboy Mansion’s favourite number 1 girlfriend. Go on Holly, tell us about how the pillow-fight pillows were all filled with fluffy handcuffs and Viagra pills. Or how sharing your 70 year old boyfriend with 6 other gorgeous women is a dream come true. And don’t leave out the part about how living in the world’s most famous harem is something that every young woman should aspire towards…as long as you’re blonde.

Turns that life in the Mansion was a lot less glamorous than E!’s hit TV show, Girls Next Door, made it out to be. The zero-fucks-given-alpha-male knows that holding on to multiple women who all know about each other isn’t about keeping them all happy. It’s about making sure that they’re all decidedly unhappy and at each other’s throats. Jealousy is Hef’s favourite tool for keeping them all in line and he used it well. Divide and conquer.

He knows that each one of his girlfriend’s wants to be a Playmate. To be displayed in his magazine as the hottest woman in the world (for a month) but he never lets them have it. He lets them think he’s going to give it to them but he never does. It’s all part of the harem’s politics. Manipulation at its best. And it works.

Hugh Heffner is a man who is particular about his image and this book does not cast him in the best light. There is no way that he just sat back and let this book be published without his consent. It may have all been a marketing ploy. He realised that people weren’t really buying their magazine for the articles so he had to find a way to sell the Playboy brand to the intellectuals who are wise to the fact that boobs on the page don’t always make for good reading. But they also realised that we’re too smart to fall for anything less than the truth. So he let it happen. He allowed Holly to have her say.

In truth, I don’t envy him. Yes, he’s constantly surrounded by hot chicks but they’re personalities are all as fake and superficial as their tits. I’d be bored in seconds. Then I’d stare at their racks and get interested again.

Few of the girls were faithful to him. They had secret boyfriends outside of the house. No surprise there. There is no way that even the world’s favourite dirty old perv could keep all of those women happy. There isn’t enough Viagra in the world. But Hef, we salute you for trying. Although, some of the girls genuinely did care for him.

Holly shows us what it takes to be a good girlfriend. Even to a man with so many options. Know what your man wants, give it to him and you will be his favourite person in the world. But after a while, she’d had enough of him. Turns out that even with all the money, the jewellery and the fame, Hugh Hefner is still a real human being with real human flaws. And she couldn’t take it anymore.

Journeyman’s Rating: Holly, as talented as you may be, we know that you didn’t write this book on your own. Salutations to your ghost writer! He/she did an awesome job.

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