The Grimoire

Here I give to you a selection of potions taken from Journeyman’s very own spell book. Most of these potions are still in their experimentation stage so if you use them you may get mixed results. Please let us know if they worked for you the way they did for us.

Hail Satan!!!


The Love Potion

1 clove of Garlic

1 Banana

1 bunch of Dhania

1 Mango


When you take your date out, order for her and make sure that whatever she orders has one of these in copious amounts.


Wake the Fuck Up

1 Apple

1 bunch Spinach

1 pair of Squirrel Nuts

2tsp Basil


The Squirrel Nuts are what really give this potion the kick. Everything else is there to bring the taste around.



1 handful of Blueberries

1tsp Cardamom

1 Avocado

2 Blackberry

1 Baby’s-foot


Blueberries and Avocado are great for the brain but baby’s foot is what lets your third eye see into new dimensions.



Bring the Dead Back To Life

1 Apple

A helluva lot of Chili

1 unhatched Devil Spawn

2g Slug Brain


Crush all of the ingredients and stuff it down the throat of the deceased. Journeyman swears by this potion. He used it once when he (accidentally) killed his girlfriend. She’s into auto-erotic asphyxiation and she couldn’t say the safe word with his hands clasped around her throat. Although he should have guessed that something was wrong when she stopped thrashing and went limp.

Things worked out in the end. He gave her the potion and she’s as good as new. The only side-effect is her hunger for human brains. Lucky for her, Journeyman and I always have some long-pig lying around.



2 pinches Dust of the Neglected

250ml Eel-shocked water

10 Dandelion petals

1 tsp Wheatgrass


Crush all of the ingredients together and use the paste to draw a flower of life on the ground. It must be perfectly drawn. Get a single petal wrong and half of you will go somewhere else. You do not want to know which half.



2 grams Cannabis Bud

2 tsp Olympian toe-nail trimmings

1 quart milk of the poppy

5 Mint leaves

1 nostril-full of Sloth mucous


Best served on the shrine of your foe.


Lost Appendage Regrowth

1 tsp Stem-Cell Caviar

1 Lost appendage

2 tsp Devil-shade

1 bunch Kale

1 Tail of a Gecko


This one was developed specifically for all those poor men in Central Province whose wives bit off their manhood. Gentlemen, rub this cocktail on the area of the missing equipment and you shall rise again. I swear it.


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